image, courtesy of http://www.stolen-agency.com
Today, I turned down a proposition. It’s not that I was too picky, the it is quite promising actually, at least to secure the future. I assume every sane man/woman will find it intriguing, hence, will accept the offer gratefully. That’s not the case with me, maybe I’m insane, I don’t know. I turned it down simply because based on my snap judgment, I have to sacrifice what I treasure most: liberty and creativity. Playing ‘neat’ and ‘proper’ are definitely not my forté.
I can invest my energy 100% as long as I can keep my liberty and creativity. Liberty and creativity come in a package. Creativity can be nurtured if there’s a room of freedom. Creativity is liberating, not limiting. This is my ideology and I’d like to keep that as long as possible because it is me and I refuse to give it up. Anything I do must allow me to interact with freedom and creativity.
Am I an idealist? At certain level, I think I am. My dream is to be a writer but I don’t limit myself in writing. Realistically, there’s a stomach to feed and there’s an expectation to meet. Hence I am willing to try another job too. There’s compromise but I still set a limit. I believe it’s important to be adaptive to any situation but still incorporate fragments of your dream. I don’t want to be just another man/woman, I want to be me. I’m restless but I am myself, steady then I am not me.
Don’t let reality steal your dream and don’t let your dream swallow you alive.
By freedom, I don’t mean that I can do anything I please but I was allowed to do anything necessary to achieve the goal. Creativity is related to the formation of new insightful ideas that can create a breakthrough and inspire people. I don’t want to just achieve a goal given, but I want to create viral ideas that can ‘punch’ people.
Having to do something and stripped from those two, that is my greatest fear. Perhaps I was spoiled. My parents are still willing to feed me while I’m in a process to find the exact match. Would I lead a different life if my parents were not supporting me? Maybe yes. Maybe I’m able to let myself to compromise more. In the end, I think that our environment affect us much. My parents raise me in a certain way and society may shape me with its norms and ‘division of labor’. Mismatched and forced to behave in a certain way that’s not myself, I do fear. I find if your identity had to be stripped, any fortune could be misfortune.